Overcoming

Default settings:

Imagine that your brain is a computer. Some people get their “default” settings from birth, others were programmed that way in their childhood, or early adulthood.

Who programs us?

That’s why parent’s roles are so important. They are able to hack in and manipulate programming of young minds. But that ability can belong to anyone to whom you allow to control your mind. Peers, boyfriends, girlfriends, media, teachers, mentors, teen idols, and songs are just a few examples of things that can hack-in and change your settings.

Taking back control:

Many people think that they are unable to change their own default settings and thinking they have no control themselves. They go through life “wishing” they were different, but unaware that they themselves have first and foremost control of their own settings. If you want to change your default programming, there is a button for that and I will show you how.

Customizing your own mind:

The very best and highest computers are those that have been fully customized with programming suitable for their individual needs, lifestyles, goals, and intentions.

First attempts:

When you press that button, your brain will sound an alarm and let you know that your default settings are being violated. Like a pushy Chatbot, it will explain that you are wired to do and react the way that is already in default. The first time you attempt to over-ride your default settings, you will need to argue with your chatbot and explain that you fully understand your default programming and that you are now hereby over-riding this response and replacing it with a new response. You will have to change the response settings for each different response for the first few times, but after awhile, your helpful little chatbot will begin copying intended programming and applying it to new scenarios as they arise. It’s not done overnight. So don’t get impatient with yourself, but it is definitely do-able.

We must over-ride our default settings.

Triggers:

What would you like to overcome? Fear? Anger? Lust? Do you have a temper and find yourself constantly being “triggered”? Triggering happens because you have a setting for that “button” and it has been programmed to do exactly what it does, every time. If you want to change it, you must consciously CHANGE it manually.

Evaluate the default:

Let’s say that when someone disrespects you, you automatically get very angry. Every time you feel “disrespect” occurring, that is a button. When the button is pushed, adrenaline starts in your gut and moves up into your chest. Your jaw tightens. Your muscles contract. Your brain glows red. Your fists clench. And your mouth opens to spit out defensive wrath towards your aggressor. You don’t have to think about it. You don’t have to say to yourself “I think I will now tighten my jaw, rush adrenaline into my system and fire out offensive language through my mouth”. It just happens. That is default.

Over-Ride:

To change that default mode, you must physically and purposely OVER-RIDE the default mode as it is occurring and replace the current programming with the new programming that you WANT to have. So your button has been pushed, you feel adrenaline dumping into your bloodstream and your jaw tightens. Here’s what you do: You force your lips to smile through your teeth and politely say “Excuse me a moment” and you head to the bathroom or somewhere private. There, you close your eyes and you speak to your own brain. “No. Stop. Relax. I NO LONGER want to get angry when I feel disrespected. I want to change the response from anger to mild amusement. I will now chuckle a bit when I feel disrespected.” Then you physically create a chuckle. Don’t make it an evil chuckie doll chuckle, but make it the kind of chuckle that you WANT to feel. You continue chuckling until your chatbot understands that this is now the new response to feeling disrespected.

Facing the Chatbot:

Your brain may say “This is ridiculous! He just said this or that! He knew what he was doing! He this or he that!” You will have to argue back to your chatbot brain “I understand – that’s right. He did, and my NEW RESPONSE to THIS kind of situation, is to feel MILDLY AMUSED and chuckle!”, and then chuckle repeatedly until you feel that mild amusement that you are speaking to yourself about. You will have to repeat this process again and again perhaps, depending on how deeply rooted your default programming is, and how genuinely honestly you are telling your brain to change. Your brain will follow your real intentions. If you say the words but secretly still hold on to the anger, it’s going to take a lot longer than if you genuinely demand that your whole body, soul, mind and spirit experience what you are CHOOSING to feel, rather than what is default programming.

Wrapping up:

At first it will seem like pulling teeth. You will have to excuse yourself to the bathroom every time. You may think you have it down pat, and then you slip right back into that old pattern, and you may think “this is not working”. It IS working, but it takes a little time to get it perfect.

Copy Programming:

Once you get THIS perfect, you can begin to copy/paste and spread that response to other situations that cause you to feel anger, or frustration or provoke you to respond in ways that will not benefit you or your life, but could cause irreparable damage if not reprogrammed. So you’re at a gathering and Jenny comes up and says Hi! And she begins to push all your buttons and ones you didn’t even know you had. She doesn’t hold back anything. She knows and you know that she is totally and utterly inappropriate and your brain is saying “Surely THIS time, default programming is appropriate!” But do not let it convince you that default programming is EVER appropriate in ANY situation!

NEVER as a powerful re-programming tool:

It is NEVER appropriate. Her inappropriate behavior does not condone your inappropriate response. So you reiterate to your brain “No. We NEVER revert back to the default setting. We ALWAYS now use the NEW setting, in EVERY situation! If you need to, you excuse yourself to the bathroom or outside or somewhere private, and close your eyes. Speak to yourself again. “Remember, my setting is changed. I NO LONGER get angry. NOW, I get MILDLY AMUSED when someone disrespects me, goes off on me, cuts me off in traffic, or does me wrong in any way, and refabricate the chuckle.

Warning:

Your brain will want to reiterate the default programming to annul your latest command. So imagine at the computer, you touch button “A” and page “Anger” comes up. You hit “Over-ride” and force-type the word “Amusement!” instead, and hit enter. Your brain will then respond with needed confirmation “Do you really mean this?” If you respond NO, then you are not changing your default settings.

So imagine you are driving on the road and a man cuts you off in traffic, honks his horn aggressively and then flips you the finger. You hit “Over-ride” “and force-type AMUSEMENT! Then you fabricate a chuckle and a smile. Then your brain asks “Do you really mean this?” and you can either say YES I REALLY MEAN THIS and continue to chuckle and smile and keep that setting you just changed, or you can roll your eyes, call the man a jerk (or worse) under your breath and mumble how you’d break his neck if you got ahold of him. You have just answered “no” to your computer brain’s confirmation.

Time and time again, your brain will seemingly bring new scenarios and new situations to your attention and ask if THIS time, default settings are appropriate and time and time again, you will have to reconfirm to your brain that you are permanently changing every anger response, to mild amusement and you MUST refabricate the smile and the chuckle every single time.

Success:

Finally one day, you will have someone come up to you and say something really nasty and mean, and your funny bone will kick in, and you will be quite amused and you will chuckle out loud. You won’t have made yourself do it. You won’t have had to override your actual anger. You will actually feel the amusement. You will actually feel the laughter. You will be free of the old default setting and you will fully be now fully reprogrammed.